Christian Nightmare

tears and crying…the guilt and the shame….
crying as memories of christianity flood in………..

Mother please forgive me
All these bad things that I say and do
I just have to get out all my pain and suffering
Now that I am done, remember I will always “love”(and hate) you
I'm your son……......

“Little child, looking so pretty
Come out and play, I'll be your daddy
Come child, I’ll bless you with God’s anointing
Come child, the holy spirit’s waiting….
Innocent child, looking so sweet
A rape in my eyes and on your flesh I'll eat”

“It's alright I didn't touch you there
Mama said she didn't care
God says it's OK
Jesus says to obey
You’re lying, I didn't touch you there
That's why mama stopped and stared”…….

You raped!
I feel dirty
It hurt!
As a child
Tied down!
“That's a good boy”
And f***ed!
Your own child
I scream!
No one hears me…
It hurt!
I'm not a liar
You’ve lied!
Now I wanna die…
You abused!
I won’t be silent
You’re a bastard
I’m not guilty…
Good God!
Trancing out and crying
My God!
Saw you watching….
Mommy why?!
Your own child…..

________________________
All alone in this dark place
With tears streaming down my face.....
So what can it be? No one hears my call....
Echoes back at me, no one's there.....
You can break my back but you won't break me
stretched as far as I can be
you stole my purity, the evidence is plain
Time's gonna wash away all pain....