Marlene Winell

[Vegan Hunter]

Someone referenced this on Xer - Marlene Winell - Leaving the Fold.  The book was tremendously helpful for me a few years ago.  I'd always scoffed at the idea of an "inner child", but Winell describes the concepts of an "inner child" and caretaking "adult" in a way that made sense to me.

I think it's time for a re-read, so if anyone's up for reading and discussing the book, I'm there!

[Anonymous]

That sounds interesting. Did you get the impression from the book that she was attacking Christianity or just evaluating all stringent religious groups? I haven't read it but it sounds like it may help with the healing process somewhat. How did you find it helpful to you specifically?

[VeganHunter]

She definitely doesn't attack Christianity or any religion.  (The idea of "attacking" is pretty defensive, btw.  What are you afraid of?)

The book helped me to understand a lot of what I was going through, and to feel less isolated in my process.  

If you're interested, get the book, read it, then come back here and discuss it.  It's not going to bite you or anything.

[spitfire1979]

i've read the book (well, most of the way through anyway) and got so much insight into my own beliefs and needs for healing that i would recommend it to anyone who's at very least wondering why their religion doesn't seem to be measuring up anymore.

probably her greatest contribution for me was how she goes through the very basic assumptions we must believe to swallow christianity whole...the need for salvation...the church's definition of its language (having an "edge" on the meaning of 'love', 'grace', 'wholeness', etc.)

my favorite passage is page 82----

----A Christian "loves" a sinner because God "loves" the sinner and one must follow suit.  Love to the evangelical is simply a willingness to put up with a sinner in order to obey the commission to preach the gospel.  Thus the fundamentalist can say, without noticing the inconsistency, "I love the sinner but not the sin."  
   To the uninitiated, this is a strange kind of love, that tries to divorce persons from their activities and then judges those activities with amazing ferocity.  In this type of love, there is no desire to know or be known, which in our everyday understanding underlies the condition of love.  Normally, the development of intimacy in human relationships involves increasing levels of self-disclosure and mutual acceptance based on equal standing.  In contrast, the Christian preaching the gospel is by no means acting vulnerable, while working hard to find a vulnerable spot in the potential proselyte.-----------

that's the sort of exploitation of my own vulnerablities and lack of ability to articulate my own thoughts and feelings i experienced while in ATI and fundamentalism.  can anyone second that?

[ninth doctor]

i can second your observation about having people try to exploit our vulnerabilities.So much pressure to"share" and "surrender".No thank you,not anymore.I will bury my vulnerabilities some place safe and reveal them to someone wwho has EARNED my trust and respect.My life belongs to ME.