The "ATI church" or The "Gothardized church"

[encourager]

I wanted to post a forum on the church that is totally run Gothard's way. The church that totally adopts the model, teachings, and structure that he promotes.

Because many churches have refused to bend and bow down to Gothard's ideas and practices, many have been forced to start their own churches or get their own leadership that will be in agreement with Bill Gothard's way of doing things.

My sister had friends that were in these kind of churches and it seems to be very opressive. I would like to hear about others who have been in these churches and those who have broken away from these churches. For those who have broken away how did you deal with the aftermath of such a thing?

[Anonymous]

There was one in Tulsa during the '90's called Fair Havens... it no longer exists because I think most of the families moved to "homesteads" and couldn't drive too far for services.  Weird.    My parents are from that area and told me about some friends who started going there and basically, the father, a doctor, was told by the pastor to stop practicing "secular" medicine and to get rid of his medical books.... which he did.  It was sad... I knew this family slightly, and they seemed nice. The dr. was capable and competent.  Too bad he let a quack pastor "authority" run his life and his family.
They ended up leaving that congregation.  We went to a church that attracted several families who left Gothard churches, and it seemed like they all had itchy feet... even though they didn't want to be in the Gothard churches anymore, it was difficult to go somewhere where people had differing convictions, espeacially about teenagers, education, music...things that a church traditionally doesn't exist to deal with anyway.

[encourager]

There was a family that used to go to my parent's church that left to go to a so called "Gothardized" church and pretty much cut off all their old friends. My sister was good friends with the daughter, because she was homeschooled and didn't seem to have all the threatening cultural issues that seem to upset the delicate balance of the Gothard world. The mother of this family was trying to be a match maker for me, knowing I was into classical music, and she knew of a family that had a daughter that was a musician. I might have said something about this in the forum on "dating vs. courtship", but I didn't even want to meet the parents or the daughter. It felt so weird. I don't think I even got to see a picture of her.

Anyway the daughter of the family that was good friends with my parents and my sister finally got out on her own and turned wild. My sister has not heard from her for a long time. The last thing she heard was that she was living with a boyfriend. I don't know all the details of what happened and what led up to it.

I have known many families that decided to remain in their original churches. Yes, they did have issues with the music styles and they didn't allow their teenagers to attend the youth group because of the cultural differences and the freedom they allowed to interact with the opposite sex. It seems kind of crazy that once you get into Gothard's teachings that you have to cut yourself off from the rest of the body of Christ because they in general seem to exercise too much liberty.

Yea, I think I did say something about in the "courtship vs. friendship" forum about almost being set up with someone, but I think I got things mixed up a bit. I didn't actually get to meet the parents. My mom was the one that relayed the message to me that the mother of my sister's friend was trying to set me up with someone. I didn't know what to say. The issue I guess was dropped when I didn't respond right away.

[spitfire1979]

From what I saw of people going to Gothard churches, it seemed to center around finding "suitable" mates for their children.  Gothard moms have this on the brain 24/7, encourager, and I am glad that you weren't dragged any further into having to go through the rigamarole!

[encourager]

Yea, I am glad I did not pursue the situation. Like I said, it was weird. I could not say I liked or disliked her because I didn't ever meet her. I was to meet the parents first. I thought that was the most craziest thing. I was afraid to even dial the phone number because I didn't really like the idea of talking to the father.

So they have to quarantine everyone so they don't get contaminated from the outside world to preserve a pure holy race, and so they can exclusively play this courtship game. They want it to be like "Fildler on The Roof", where you have a match maker and you make sure the woman's place is in the home. A woman is discouraged from ever going outside the fortress walls for fear she might get contaminated. They are not to go to college or be in the work environment, heaven forbid! They would be living in sin if they do! Keep'em in a box and preserve them for the time when they get chosen for a match.

I guess this mother would eventually not allow her daughter to see my sister anymore. My theory was that because I was still living at home with my parents at the time, and anytime she would come over she would have to stay clear of me. I might have been considered a threat, or her mom might have seen me as a threat. So I could just hear it now, "I don't want you to go over and see her anymore, because her brother is still there, and I don't want you to be talking to him!" You never know that might have been the reason why she tried to set me up with someone. Anyway, that is just a theory. I don't know if that is what she was thinking.

[granolagoddess]

Doesn't this "control" that gothard asserts seem a little like Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder? (OCD)?

He tries to keep everything in a sweet little box ...so weird.

[Jon]

one problem is that the way mr gothard has led IBLP is that they say one thing and do another, I know people who have talked to mr G directly and have been told that they should be examples in their church and not worry about what type of music they play etc. then he will tell someone else to get out of the church and attend a "home church" or something.
it is very disturbing to me that so many people just give over their whole lives to the teachings of someone that is like a snake in the grass.

[encourager]

Yeah, it seems kind of funny how he will say under one breath that he doesn't support or encourage the idea of seperating from your local church, but then under the next breath it is like he promoting the idea of pulling away and starting a gothardized commune. There are many who will say that it is not Mr. G's fault and that it is all in how people apply his materials. He seems like he is very inconsistant with his counsel and advice that he gives people. I guess that explains why there are many families that are stricter than others. I don't know.

[granolagoddess]

Well, I spoke with him, once, at a live seminar. I wanted him to know how utterly horrible my life was, and asked what his wisdom was. I just told him my father was an alcoholic, an my life was very hard. He just said, "I'm sorry about that." But offered nothing for me. I was utterly devastated.

[car2back]

Hello everyone, I've been trolling for awhile reading all the stories, and recently decided to join.

I grew up in a Southern Baptist Church in  in Skiatook, OK that feverantly stands by the ideas taught in the IBLP and has/had a very close relationship with the Eagle Springs Training Center. The Gothardism especially came out in the Church's treatment of the "youth". From the time I became 13 years of age until I became less involved in the youth program when I was 17-18 I was treated like an inherently lustful, ungodly, "un-regenerate", rebellious child who must be taught how to be a Christian. The idea wasn't necessarily to help you grow into a successful young adult that had a passion for Christ, but more to force you into the mold of who someone else (Gothard et al.) thought you should be.